Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Even More Andrew-isms
Andrew, catching his reflection in a mirror: "I look goo-ood!"
Andrew, surprised to learn that Mommie is still looking for a job on the Internet: "You don't have a job yet? It's been a week already!"
Andrew, telling about his day to Sasha: "And then, the boy got hit in the nuts. Can you believe it?!"
Sasha, looking perplexed: "Huh?"
Andrew, pointing down to the appropriate area, "You know, the nuts!"
Andrew, surprised to learn that Mommie is still looking for a job on the Internet: "You don't have a job yet? It's been a week already!"
Andrew, telling about his day to Sasha: "And then, the boy got hit in the nuts. Can you believe it?!"
Sasha, looking perplexed: "Huh?"
Andrew, pointing down to the appropriate area, "You know, the nuts!"
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Scenes from parenthood
Daddy gives Mommie a hug. Andrew:This is not something you should be doing in front of the kids! Mommie and Daddy laugh. Andrew: I knew you were gonna laugh at that!
Andrew, looking at a Britney Spears poster advertising Candie's: She's hot!
Sasha, looking at the same poster: Mommie, that's not your style, is it?
Andrew, looking at a Britney Spears poster advertising Candie's: She's hot!
Sasha, looking at the same poster: Mommie, that's not your style, is it?
Mommie and Sasha are looking through a Victoria's Secret catalogue. Sasha keeps pointing out certain women who look nothing like Mommie and saying, "She looks like you!". After all blonds are described as "She doesn't look like you", Mommie realizes that "looks like you" means "brunette". Mommie's hopes of looking like a model are quashed.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Say what?
Sasha: Mommie, Andrew just kicked me!
Mommie: Andrew, if you kick Sasha again, I'm going to kick YOU!
Sasha: You know what would be even better?
Mommie: What?
Sasha: If Daddy kicked him!
Sasha, getting ready for bed: Mommie, do you know what's the opposite of clothes?
Mommie, dumbfounded: Nakedness?
Sasha: No, pajamas!
Mommie: Andrew, if you kick Sasha again, I'm going to kick YOU!
Sasha: You know what would be even better?
Mommie: What?
Sasha: If Daddy kicked him!
Sasha, getting ready for bed: Mommie, do you know what's the opposite of clothes?
Mommie, dumbfounded: Nakedness?
Sasha: No, pajamas!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Conversations
Mommie, looking around: Andrew, you drew all over our walls, your lamp shade, your desk; punctured the desk chair... Is there anything you haven't ruined yet?
Andrew: taking a look at the pencil hole in the chair's leather: At least the chair is healing...
Mommie: What do you mean it's healing?
Andrew: Well, once I pulled out the pencil, the hole got smaller.
Andrew, at 7 a.m.: Where did the first baby come from?
Mommie, asleep: Its mommie's belly.
Andrew: Where did the first mommie come from?
Mommie, awake: It's a mystery.
Andrew: Mommie, am I going to die?
Mommie: You will live for a long time.
Andrew: If people stop dying, there will be many old people on this earth, and many young people who are being born every day. Where is everyone going to live?
Mommie: Don't forget that we are going to a Seder tonight.
Daddy: I thought the holiday was called Passover!?
Andrew: taking a look at the pencil hole in the chair's leather: At least the chair is healing...
Mommie: What do you mean it's healing?
Andrew: Well, once I pulled out the pencil, the hole got smaller.
Andrew, at 7 a.m.: Where did the first baby come from?
Mommie, asleep: Its mommie's belly.
Andrew: Where did the first mommie come from?
Mommie, awake: It's a mystery.
Andrew: Mommie, am I going to die?
Mommie: You will live for a long time.
Andrew: If people stop dying, there will be many old people on this earth, and many young people who are being born every day. Where is everyone going to live?
Mommie: Don't forget that we are going to a Seder tonight.
Daddy: I thought the holiday was called Passover!?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Smartie Pants
Conversation between Mommie and Andrew
Andrew: How do you spell “by”?
Mommie: Like, when you are buying something in the store, or when you are waving bye-bye to someone?
Andrew: Like… by Andrew
Mommie: How can someone buy you? You’re not for sale!
Andrew: No, not “buy Andrew” – “by Andrew!”
Mommie: Oh, like when you are leaving, your teacher says, “Bye, Andrew!”
Andrew, exasperated: No, like … when I draw something, I say, “by Andrew”
Daddy scolds Mommie for overfeeding Sasha.
Andrew: Mommie, I don’t like how he is raising you!
Andrew accompanies Mommie to the supermarket.
Andrew, picking up a small melon and putting it into the cart: This is my most favorite fruit ever!
Mommie: Fine, you can have it, but I will pick out the one we will buy.
Andrew, disappointed: Why is it always about you!?
A phonecall: Hi, May I speak to Irina?
Andrew: This is not Irina! This is Andrew.
Andrew: How do you spell “by”?
Mommie: Like, when you are buying something in the store, or when you are waving bye-bye to someone?
Andrew: Like… by Andrew
Mommie: How can someone buy you? You’re not for sale!
Andrew: No, not “buy Andrew” – “by Andrew!”
Mommie: Oh, like when you are leaving, your teacher says, “Bye, Andrew!”
Andrew, exasperated: No, like … when I draw something, I say, “by Andrew”
Daddy scolds Mommie for overfeeding Sasha.
Andrew: Mommie, I don’t like how he is raising you!
Andrew accompanies Mommie to the supermarket.
Andrew, picking up a small melon and putting it into the cart: This is my most favorite fruit ever!
Mommie: Fine, you can have it, but I will pick out the one we will buy.
Andrew, disappointed: Why is it always about you!?
A phonecall: Hi, May I speak to Irina?
Andrew: This is not Irina! This is Andrew.
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