Andrew: "Mom, you always pick out weird clothes for me!"
Mom: "What do you mean?"
Andrew: "Well, like you're picking out clothes for someone who wipes his mouth with a napkin after every bite. I don't want to be a gentleman -- I want to be a bad boy! Bullies are cool -- that's why they wear sunglasses. I'm going to start acting like a bad boy now."
Mom: "How do they act?"
Andrew: "Break stuff, litter... Can I start now?"
Mom: "Noooooooooooo!"
Andrew, looking at mom's childhood photo album: "Wow! They had pianos back then?!"
Mom, to Sasha: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sasha: "I want to be on TV -- maybe a model?"
Mom, to Andrew: "What about you?"
Andrew: "I want to be an engineer and create a way for humans to have superpowers. After I do that, I want to become a Wolverine. I'm his biggest fan."
If you like this blog, you'll love...
Subscribe To
All Comments
About Me
- Ira
- o I enjoy shocking people o I’ve always wanted an older brother o I like the sound and smell of fire o I wish I had a magic carpet because I love traveling o I detest literary theory and sci-fi o Bluntness and kept promises instill trust o Dance is proof of music’s immense power o Fake modesty and feigned interest irk me o I remember a vacation my family took when I was three o I have always loved trying on shoes o The most disgusting food I was force-fed was skin off a chicken leg o I don’t like surprises or occasion presents, yet love unpredictability and gifts for no reason o I need to have “alone time” o I prefer simple to outrageous; complicated to boring o I like checklists and agendas, but rarely follow them o I resent menus in foreign languages but adore ethnic cuisine o I change my mind o Old people often approach me o I am stubborn and can only learn from own mistakes o Intimate conversations win over loud parties o Amusement-park rides don’t agree with me o I like my coffee strong and chocolate dark o No artificial sweetener or bacon o Not too many ruffles or flowers o No hotel art or paisley pattern
