Andrew: Moooooooooom! Where is my shoe?
Mom: Check under the couch.
Andrew, finding the shoe: "Great place to put it, mom!" Then, to Sasha: "I do that thing that mom does when I'm being bad and mom tells me I'm being good."
Andrew: Mom, my throat hurts.
Mom: How, like you're about to throw up or like you're getting a cold?
Andrew: Like a germ just exploded ten thousand atomic bombs in my throat.
Sasha: Mom, can I listen to your hairphones, please?
Andrew: I'm writing a song.
Mom: Can we hear it?
Andrew: So far, I have, "Hey, you! Yo, man, yo, yo, yo!"
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About Me
- Ira
- o I enjoy shocking people o I’ve always wanted an older brother o I like the sound and smell of fire o I wish I had a magic carpet because I love traveling o I detest literary theory and sci-fi o Bluntness and kept promises instill trust o Dance is proof of music’s immense power o Fake modesty and feigned interest irk me o I remember a vacation my family took when I was three o I have always loved trying on shoes o The most disgusting food I was force-fed was skin off a chicken leg o I don’t like surprises or occasion presents, yet love unpredictability and gifts for no reason o I need to have “alone time” o I prefer simple to outrageous; complicated to boring o I like checklists and agendas, but rarely follow them o I resent menus in foreign languages but adore ethnic cuisine o I change my mind o Old people often approach me o I am stubborn and can only learn from own mistakes o Intimate conversations win over loud parties o Amusement-park rides don’t agree with me o I like my coffee strong and chocolate dark o No artificial sweetener or bacon o Not too many ruffles or flowers o No hotel art or paisley pattern
