Andrew: Mommie, can I please show you how strong I am by breaking this pencil in half?
Mommie: Absolutely not! You're going to cut yourself with the pencil!
Repeat the above scene 18 times. Daddy comes home.
Andrew: Daddy, can I please show you how strong I am by breaking this pencil in half?
Daddy: Yea, sure, whatever.
Five minutes later:
Mommie: Andrew, why do you have a bandaged hand?
Andrew: I cut myself with the pencil.
Andrew, watching a Russian music video on YouTube: And they call this art?
Andrew is crying sadly on the drive from the hairdresser.
Daddy: Andrew, why are you upset?
Andrew: I ... looooook ... tooooo ... cuuuuuuute...
Daddy: What's wrong with that?
Andrew: I ... waaaaaant ... to ... loooooooook ... coooooool...
If you like this blog, you'll love...
Subscribe To
All Comments
About Me
- Ira
- o I enjoy shocking people o I’ve always wanted an older brother o I like the sound and smell of fire o I wish I had a magic carpet because I love traveling o I detest literary theory and sci-fi o Bluntness and kept promises instill trust o Dance is proof of music’s immense power o Fake modesty and feigned interest irk me o I remember a vacation my family took when I was three o I have always loved trying on shoes o The most disgusting food I was force-fed was skin off a chicken leg o I don’t like surprises or occasion presents, yet love unpredictability and gifts for no reason o I need to have “alone time” o I prefer simple to outrageous; complicated to boring o I like checklists and agendas, but rarely follow them o I resent menus in foreign languages but adore ethnic cuisine o I change my mind o Old people often approach me o I am stubborn and can only learn from own mistakes o Intimate conversations win over loud parties o Amusement-park rides don’t agree with me o I like my coffee strong and chocolate dark o No artificial sweetener or bacon o Not too many ruffles or flowers o No hotel art or paisley pattern
