Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Andrew the troublemaker
Andrew: Mommie, can I please show you how strong I am by breaking this pencil in half?
Mommie: Absolutely not! You're going to cut yourself with the pencil!
Repeat the above scene 18 times. Daddy comes home.
Andrew: Daddy, can I please show you how strong I am by breaking this pencil in half?
Daddy: Yea, sure, whatever.
Five minutes later:
Mommie: Andrew, why do you have a bandaged hand?
Andrew: I cut myself with the pencil.
Andrew, watching a Russian music video on YouTube: And they call this art?
Andrew is crying sadly on the drive from the hairdresser.
Daddy: Andrew, why are you upset?
Andrew: I ... looooook ... tooooo ... cuuuuuuute...
Daddy: What's wrong with that?
Andrew: I ... waaaaaant ... to ... loooooooook ... coooooool...
Mommie: Absolutely not! You're going to cut yourself with the pencil!
Repeat the above scene 18 times. Daddy comes home.
Andrew: Daddy, can I please show you how strong I am by breaking this pencil in half?
Daddy: Yea, sure, whatever.
Five minutes later:
Mommie: Andrew, why do you have a bandaged hand?
Andrew: I cut myself with the pencil.
Andrew, watching a Russian music video on YouTube: And they call this art?
Andrew is crying sadly on the drive from the hairdresser.
Daddy: Andrew, why are you upset?
Andrew: I ... looooook ... tooooo ... cuuuuuuute...
Daddy: What's wrong with that?
Andrew: I ... waaaaaant ... to ... loooooooook ... coooooool...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
More Andrew-isms
Andrew: Mommie, I'm so glad I'm a human 'cause I don't want to be an animal. And, I definitely don't want to be a dinosaur. You know why? 'Cause dinosaurs are extinct -- that means they're dead!
Andrew: Mommie, are flying reindeer real?
Mommie: No!
Andrew: Then Santa is not real either?! There is no Santa?
Mommie: ................ Santa climbs down the chimney, remember?
Andrew, mad at Mommie: When I grow up, I'm going to call you a bad name because you keep playing lame Russian music.
Andrew: Mommie, are flying reindeer real?
Mommie: No!
Andrew: Then Santa is not real either?! There is no Santa?
Mommie: ................ Santa climbs down the chimney, remember?
Andrew, mad at Mommie: When I grow up, I'm going to call you a bad name because you keep playing lame Russian music.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Boston College Thinks I'm a Christian
I realize BC is a Catholic institution, but still... I feel weird about this card they just emailed me. Hey, BC, just because I went to a Catholic grad school, it does not mean I'm a Catholic. Now, had they sent me a Kwanzaa card, that would have been more interesting.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Observed by a woman who loves you
Sasha: What's a boyfriend?
Andrew: It's man who loves you, but not your Daddy.
Mommie: Would you like some dessert?
Andrew: Sure!
Mommie, handing Andrew a fruit: Here you go.
Andrew, waving Mommie away: I thought you meant real dessert!
Andrew: Mommie, how tall were you when you were 16?
Mommie, at a loss: I don't remember.
Andrew: What about when you were 10?
Mommie: Sasha, you are so delicious, I just want to eat you up!
Sasha: Mommie, you can't eat me up -- I have blood inside myself.
Andrew: It's man who loves you, but not your Daddy.
Mommie: Would you like some dessert?
Andrew: Sure!
Mommie, handing Andrew a fruit: Here you go.
Andrew, waving Mommie away: I thought you meant real dessert!
Andrew: Mommie, how tall were you when you were 16?
Mommie, at a loss: I don't remember.
Andrew: What about when you were 10?
Mommie: Sasha, you are so delicious, I just want to eat you up!
Sasha: Mommie, you can't eat me up -- I have blood inside myself.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
For daddy who's been away
Mommie, Andrew and Sasha are driving home from Sasha's school.
Andrew: Mommie, can you please take the way home that Daddie takes?
Mommie: No, I like my way better!
Andrew: But Daddy's way is much faster!
Mommie: Well, Andrew, when you will start driving, you can take Daddy's way.
Andrew: When I start driving, Sasha will be out of school already!
11 pm. Mommie: Can you guys please go to to sleep already? I'm tired.
Andrew: Can you stay in our room a little longer?
Mommie: No, Andrew. I have a long day ahead of me. I need some rest too. I have to be ready for work tomorrow morning.
Andrew: Just get another job!
Mommie: But I would still have to work hard, no matter what kind of job I had.
Andrew: Well, you could always just cook in a restaurant. That's easy -- you already know how to do that!
Mommie: Andrew, do you want milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
Andrew: Milk!
Biting the piece, inspecting the middle.
Mommie: Do you like it?
Andrew: Yes, but there is no milk inside!
Andrew: Mommie, can you please take the way home that Daddie takes?
Mommie: No, I like my way better!
Andrew: But Daddy's way is much faster!
Mommie: Well, Andrew, when you will start driving, you can take Daddy's way.
Andrew: When I start driving, Sasha will be out of school already!
11 pm. Mommie: Can you guys please go to to sleep already? I'm tired.
Andrew: Can you stay in our room a little longer?
Mommie: No, Andrew. I have a long day ahead of me. I need some rest too. I have to be ready for work tomorrow morning.
Andrew: Just get another job!
Mommie: But I would still have to work hard, no matter what kind of job I had.
Andrew: Well, you could always just cook in a restaurant. That's easy -- you already know how to do that!
Mommie: Andrew, do you want milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
Andrew: Milk!
Biting the piece, inspecting the middle.
Mommie: Do you like it?
Andrew: Yes, but there is no milk inside!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Words, words, everywhere words...
Mommie: Andrew, could you please put this toy away?
Andrew: I'm not your maid!
Mommie: Sasha, come here, you -- gorgeous creature!
Sasha: I'm not creature -- only bugs are creatures, mommie!
Sasha, giving a sticker to Mommie: "You earned it!"
Andrew, explaining why he broke up with his girlfriend: "She got too girly, and I got sick of playing with her."
Andrew: I'm not your maid!
Mommie: Sasha, come here, you -- gorgeous creature!
Sasha: I'm not creature -- only bugs are creatures, mommie!
Sasha, giving a sticker to Mommie: "You earned it!"
Andrew, explaining why he broke up with his girlfriend: "She got too girly, and I got sick of playing with her."
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Fun with words
Andrew is having troubles with his lego creation.
"Man! Why does life have to be so hard!?"
Sasha is trying to get Mommie to build her house.
Mommie: No, Sasha. This is your house -- you build it.
Sasha: No, Mommie. Teamwork, remember? Teamwork.
Mommie: Sasha, you want an apple or a pear?
Sasha: I'd like some candy.
"Man! Why does life have to be so hard!?"
Sasha is trying to get Mommie to build her house.
Mommie: No, Sasha. This is your house -- you build it.
Sasha: No, Mommie. Teamwork, remember? Teamwork.
Mommie: Sasha, you want an apple or a pear?
Sasha: I'd like some candy.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Sasha loves to quote her teachers
Mommie: Sasha, you are the most beautiful, charming, kissable girl. You're also sweet, huggable, lovable...
Sasha: ... And nosy!
Mommie: Sasha, what are you thinking?
Sasha: I think McCain is gonna win!
Mommie: I knew you would like this, Sasha!
Sasha: You know how you knew this? 'Cause you're a smarty pants -- that's who you are!
Sasha: ... And nosy!
Mommie: Sasha, what are you thinking?
Sasha: I think McCain is gonna win!
Mommie: I knew you would like this, Sasha!
Sasha: You know how you knew this? 'Cause you're a smarty pants -- that's who you are!
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